Hello, dear reader,

Grief is an inevitable part of life, yet it is one of the most challenging emotions to navigate. Let’s be honest, nobody wants to sit at the table with grief. Perhaps you picture grief in a dark hooded cape, sickle in hand – a specter to be feared. Whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any profound change, grief comes uninvited and can feel overwhelming. As a mindset coach, I’ve witnessed the power of resilience and the human spirit’s capacity to heal. Today, I want to share some insights and tools to help you navigate through the waves of grief.

The first step in navigating grief is to acknowledge and accept your emotions. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of joy that may arise. When my dad passed away, I experienced a whirlwind of unfamiliar, and often frightening, emotions. I allow myself to cry, to feel the loss deeply, and to remember the good times. This acknowledgment helps me process my grief rather than suppress it.

One of the hardest parts of my journey was not being able to say goodbye to my dad when he was sick and passing away. This lack of closure added a layer of complexity to my grief. The longing for a final moment to say the things left unsaid can feel like a wound that never fully heals. It’s important to understand that sometimes closure doesn’t come in the way we would order it, and that’s okay.

To navigate this lack of closure, I find it helpful to create my own rituals. I write letters to my dad, sharing my thoughts and feelings, as if he could hear me. I visit places that were meaningful to us and take time to reflect and talk to him in my heart. When I visit his grave site, I bring along a Coke and a two-pack of Hostess yellow cupcakes.  I take a sip, toast my dad and do a Coke pour out, (like the traditional bourbon pour out), eat a cupcake and leave one behind.  This may sound peculiar but it’s a personal way of honoring my dad and one of my favorite childhood memories.  When I was young, he would take a few of us kids (there are five) to what we called “the country” to pick up blue crabs for his restaurant.  Along the way we were sure to stop at a little country store where he would buy us all a Coke and Hostess yellow cupcakes as a special treat.  I like to remember my dad this way.  He was a good father with a mischievous sense of humor, an industrious work ethic, a brilliant mind and a Coke/cupcake loving man.  This example of a personal ritual provides a sense of connection and helps me find a form of closure on my own terms.

Grief can disrupt your daily life, affect your health and other relationships, making it difficult to find a sense of normalcy. Brain fog, feelings of displacement, or loneliness are all examples during a season of grief. Establishing routines can provide structure and stability during this tumultuous time. Start with small routines, such as morning walks, regular meals, or dedicated time for relaxation. These routines can anchor you and offer a semblance of normalcy.

Finding healthy ways to express your grief is essential. This might include writing in a journal, creating art, or engaging in physical activity. For me, I find solace in photography, music and writing.  Expressing your emotions can help release some of the pain and bring a sense of relief.

Be gentle with yourself. Grief can be exhausting, and it’s okay to have days where you do not feel strong. This is normal when you are walking this path.  Practice self-compassion and give yourself the grace to heal at your own pace. There is not a cookie cutter timeline for grief navigation.  It’s not a “get over it already” situation.  Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a dear friend. Remember, healing is a gradual process.

Finding ways to honor and remember your loved one can be healing. This might include creating a memory book, planting a tree, or celebrating their life in a way that feels meaningful to you. My family and I planted some of my dad’s favorite plants to celebrate his life and keep his memory alive.

If your grief feels overwhelming and persistent, do not hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Grief is not linear. It comes and goes, sometimes unexpectedly. Embrace the waves, knowing that it is okay to have moments of sadness even after you have begun to heal. Trust that with time, the intensity of the waves will lessen. I still have moments where the grief resurfaces. Sure, it can be embarrassing to find myself tearing up if I am in public when a song or a story triggers a wave of emotion.  Vulnerability is scary.  However, I have found that people understand, and possibly have a similar story of an event that can allow you to heal a little bit more through sharing together. 

Grief is a testament to the love and connection we have experienced with another human.  While it is a difficult journey, it is also an opportunity for growth, reflection, and healing. Be patient with yourself, seek support, and allow yourself to navigate with grace and resilience. If you are struggling with grief, know that you are not alone. Navigating grief is a deeply personal and challenging journey. I hope this post offers you comfort and practical advice to help you find your way through the waves.

With love and light,

BBJAX

Remember, healing is possible, and brighter days are ahead.

Keep moving forward, one step at a time.